Money Fears are real
Many people have present fears surrounding money. We at Taxko are making a conscious decision not to hook into the energy of fear surrounding it. Yet, over and over, ironically, it keeps coming up in our conversations with our clients.
Certainly, it isn’t the first time our firm had so many people processing their anxiety about money and all that it represents. But the resounding atmosphere, post covid-19, of uncertainty is triggering our clients, and maybe you, more than fears of money.
The insecurity is triggering what we feel are older fears about survival. And exploring those childhood fears is maybe the key to resolving it.
If we were to remember our first days managing money in this world, the simplicity of it would amaze us. We see it in the children we raise, but we often forget that we, too, were once those children.
As children, our primary function in the world is to explore it, all the while anticipating that our loved ones, our parents, will provide us with food, clothing, shelter, and protection from harm. And while it may seem simple, for many, that assurance, that security never came.
For others, the security and survival came, but at an emotional cost. Like a price tag hanging on a guilt-ridden purchase, it may have been an unspoken emotional contract that survival was conditional. Be a little adult. Whatever “that” emotional contract was, is how the child’s survival was ensured.
Whatever our relationship to the idea of “survival,” it is the very thing that today’s financial struggles, or whatever you chose to call it, triggers. It’s not conscious. It’s not readily apparent. Perhaps you would even disagree. Nevertheless, the thoughts that “I can’t make it,” “I’m going to lose my house,” “I’ll lose my job,” “I’m afraid I’ll have no money,” all echo the primary panic of a child who is not sure that it will survive. That child is not sure that someone will be there. That child is uncertain that its basic needs will be met. And you may forget, that child is still you.
The Inner Child budget.
As the USA continues to lift the debt ceiling and pushed the conversation out another year or so, is the perfect time to assess your current opinions about money. Finding ways to swing your money mindset to encourage a better relationship with your money is key.
Since March of 2020 the following years have been challenging for us all, so don’t feel ashamed if your money mindset isn’t as positive as you’d like. And that is the first thing we must touch on. See the way you view your money plays a large role in your overall financial well-being.
There is a proverb about how the mind is like farm land and your words are the seeds that are planted. Just like farm land you can plant, fruit, vegetables or a field of poison ivy. The farm land will only grow what you plant, regardless of what it is, as long as you tend to it. The moral of the proverb is that you words and thoughts are powerful.
So, while you may not yet feel ready to face your finances, the sooner you let go of past money mistakes, the sooner you’ll be able to change your financial situation
Adulting is so hard.
Our emotional needs must have been met at each developmental stage- from childhood to adulthood. If not, it is as if you become “stuck” in that developmental stage and within the adult self. That inner child still “looks for” resolution of that developmental stage, even in the present.
It is the inner child still, desperately, needing to find safety that unabashedly shows up, triggered by today’s fears. It is that inner child who cries out and magnifies your adult self’s survival fears. Yes, you may be afraid of losing your stability, your security; that is, of course, a truly valid concern.
Nevertheless, we often forget that our inner child, the once traumatized child, is triggered by today’s worries. Whatever traumas resulted in our inner child’s needs not being met, are magnified by the present. Because of early childhood survival traumas, we unconsciously look to our partners, job, and the outside world to “resolve” them.
We look to the outside world to provide us with the emotional, spiritual, or material needs that we didn’t get, or that came at a price. Of course, it is an unrealistic expectation. Instead, it is the original hope for our parents that we “project” on others instead of exploring the original hurt. Current fears about being able to “survive” in “these times” trigger that original hurt. And perhaps it is showing up, now, for a reason. Maybe now is the time to explore it.
Call to Action.
Use the attached journal to help express your inner child money feelings and send back to us. We will review it and have Jonathan Beaubien Financial Advisor | Financial Planner reach out to you. This is step one in a four step process to get our clients on a great financial path.